The Bad News...

When I was 5, I learned that I had Type I diabetes, which at that time meant 2 shots a day and 3-4 finger sticks a day, along with getting vials of blood drawn every 3 months or so, and no sugar. My dad had to give himself shots of water to teach him how to give my injections correctly. So I began my journey on Humilin and Novilin.

When I was 12, I spent Halloween weekend away from home and not taking Insulin and eating tons of Chocolate. Monday, my dad found me unconscious. I was air lifted to the hospital 2 hours away. I remained in a coma caused by ketoacidosis(high blood sugar, I was told it was 1300) for 3 days, and woke to find out that I had pneumonia in both lungs. I had to spend 3 weeks in the hospital where I had to walk every day with a walker around the floor, due to my muscle weakness after only 3 days, to build strength, endure regular "beatings" on both sides of my chest to loosen the phlegm, get stuck with needles to draw blood every hour or so(including throughout the night), have my IV sites changed often due to blown veins, which was extremely painful, it feels like the antibiotics are chemicals burning your insides.

When I did get to leave, I wasn't allowed to go home with my father, which broke his heart, because he was seen as unfit, due to my mistakes. So I moved in with my mother and began a new life. About a year later, she was diagnosed with Non-Hodkins Lymphoma and passed away soon after, which broke MY heart again. My sister who is 10 years older than myself gained custody of me, and I moved in with her, her husband and my niece(who is 10 years younger than me and autistic). I ended up in the hospital again for Dehydration caused by Ketoacidosis the morning of my mothers funeral, which I did not get to attend. I added stress to an already strained marriage, and after a year or so and a couple of unsuccessful suicide attempts on my part, they divorced and my sister took my niece and I, and we moved. I was in and out of the hospital for high blood sugars and low blood sugars several times throughout High School. I forgot to take my Insulin several times due to memory problems(I'm also told are due to uncontrolled BG levels), which landed me in the hospital straight from school several times. The one time I actually made it through the day and got home at around 5pm, apparently I passed out while trying to take my Insulin, my sister came home around 9pm to find that my niece had single-handedly re-carpeted the entire house with rice, catfood, sugar, coffee, flour, cereal etc. and was hiding under the covers in her room, while I was passed out in my sisters bedroom with Insulin Syringes covering the floor. I ended up in the hospital again and was told by the Doctor that if I kept going the way I was I would not make it to 30, and would never be able to have children, which is not very encouraging considering that the only thing I ever wanted was to have a family and be there for my niece if anything ever happens to my sister.

Things got a little better for awhile because my Endocrinologist changed my Insulin to Humalog and Lantus, which are more effective Insulins for people with "Brittle" cases. Humalog starts acting immediately so you can start eating immediately, instead of having to wait 15 minutes for it to take effect, but you have to be careful and make sure that you can sit down immediately to eat or it will drop your blood sugar like a hot potato. Of course that was never a problem with me, because I love to eat, and hated to sit and wait that 15 minutes so I rarely did. And still, I could not get my blood sugars to even be remotely in the vicinity they are supposed to be. So I found a new Doctor, I figured a change of scenery may be what I needed.

Now, are you ready news?

On my first appointment with this new Endocrinologist, he asked me why I was not on the Insulin Pump. I said that I had never had anyone tell me about it, I didn't really know much about it, and he said that with my history I really should consider it, that it had the potential to change my life. So he set me up an appointment with a colleague of his, a woman from Medtronic Minimed, a pump supply company. We met about a week later and she put me on a CGMS(Continuous Glucose Monitoring System) which, yep you guessed it, Continuously monitors your glucose levels, and records them for 24-48 hours, and is then looked at by the doctor to see if your method of treatment is effective at all times of the day and also picks up on any patterns that may be corrected by the pump. This information was reviewed by my endocrinologist and he requested authorization from my Insurance company, and soon after I was on the phone with Minimed picking my color choice and all that fun stuff, and about 2 weeks later, I had my pump and began training. Now, that may sound silly, to "train", but you really do have to change certain things about your life and how you eat and such.

I began learning how to use the pump, which is a little overwhelming at first due to all the aspects of it. I mean, I'd never heard of a Bolus or Basal, let alone what a Carb Ratio or Sensitivity were! Then I learned how to Count Carbs, which is also a little overwhelming at first because you have to think about and analyze every single thing that goes into your mouth, kind of makes you realize what a pig you are at times! It does get easier, and life after the pump is beautiful! I can tell when my blood sugar is even a little off most of the time now, which I hadn't been able to do for years. I can tell it's low by about 70, and when it's high by around 160. I don't dread going to the doctor anymore because he doesn't look disappointed in me anymore, and tell me that I need to do better or I will have all sorts of problems. I actually leave the office smiling because he tells me that I'm doing so well that he doesn't need to see me back for 3 months!

So, I left out a little bit of HUGE information back there. About 3 moths after I started using the pump, I found out I was pregnant! I was ecstatic, but worried at the same time. I told my doctor and he was not very excited, he felt it was too soon, since my BG was not completely stable yet. He stressed to me how much work it was going to be on my part, and of all the many problems that could happen with both myself and the baby if it was not controlled tightly. This brought back memories of Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias, and I was terrified for my baby, and for my health during and after the pregnancy. I began this most recent part of my journey completely unsure and terrified, it seemed that every new doctor I saw after the pregnancy began did not want me to do this. One that I saw actually told me that before meeting me, she reviewed my records from when I was much younger(at that hospital 2 hours away that I mentioned before), and had a nightmare about me because the last A1C I had done there was 11.4! I was seen by 8 different doctors at 2 practices and 3 hospitals, and that's not mentioning the extra special care High Risk procedures that were done, such as Echocardiograms, and many ultrasounds. The extra ultrasounds were great, because we got to watch our little girl grow inside me.

Until about the 7th month I was petrified that my Blood Sugar wasn't as tight as it should be, (which could cause the baby to have to be on a glucose drip for 24 hours, because her body would have gotten used to having high blood sugar in the womb and begin to produce too much insulin, in turn causing her to have low Blood Sugar)because it was sometimes higher than it should have been for a couple of days due to my body's demand for Insulin constantly growing with the pregnancy. I was keeping a strict and accurate journal of EVERYTHING I ate and every BG, and sending this to my Pump counselor for adjustments on my settings every 3 days. She actually told me that when her mother was down visiting her, she helped her clean out her office, and saw my records and told her how impressed she was that I was keeping track of all that information. I was determined to give my baby the best chance at a healthy life possible.

So in my 8th month, I went back to see my Endocrinologist to get a Decreased Insulin plan set up for after delivery, because the need for so much Insulin is gone as soon as the placenta is out of the body,and he hadn't had a chance to review my record from the other doctor yet. He fully expected to get onto me because they were too high, but looked very suprised when he saw my paperwork and the A1C was 5.7. He didn't really say too much after that, he just gave me my Insulin plan and said to make an appointment after delivery. I was starting to feel a little more confident now, because he's not one to tell you how great you've been doing, more the opposite actually. But he did NOT tell me how bad I'd been doing, this is the important thing. So then I went for my last ultrasound the day before delivery, and they said that the baby looked healthy, but would probably be big, which is no suprise because diabetics normally have 10 lb babies. I was told that she was at least 8 1/2 lbs, but that could vary by 1 lb, that she could possibly be 9 1/2 - 10 lbs, but not any smaller. She turned out to be 7 lb 7 oz, and needed no glucose drip!

So, now I am a happy, healthy mother of a happy, healthy baby girl! And I had my A1C tested last week, and again was worried because it has not been as tight as I would like it to be. It is remaining at a healthy 5.7, and my doctor actually did tell me that I'm doing really well. The moral of my story is that if you are doubting switching to the pump, because of some trivial worry(like I was) such as having something attached to you 24/7, the positives heavily outweigh the negatives.

And the only bad thing about the pump is that if you wear pants without pockets, it doesn't work as well. But they also make several different holders for it, that I haven't gotten around to getting because it's not really a big deal to me, that allow you to wear it around your arm, thigh or bra. That one little insignificant thing is the ONLY bad thing that I have to say about the pump after 15 months of continuous wear.