The mantra for all diabetics is “Check those feet, everyday, every way.” Healthcare professionals preach the message; articles scream it over and over. However, many diabetics don’t and won’t. My husband was one of those who didn’t believe he should and “foo, fooed” my suggestions that I should check his feet.

For several weeks, R__ had been having problems thinking, and he had said things that either didn’t make sense or were completely out of line. The problems became worse, closer together, and lasting for longer periods of time. The middle of September, he zoned out or fell asleep in the middle of a word or action. He wouldn’t listen to reason, no matter who tried to talk him into seeking help. He didn’t understand the need.

Saturday, September 17, we were to go to one of our son’s homes to celebrate his and one of his son’s birthday, which had been during the week. R__ lay on the sofa, with his socks and shoes off, laying where I saw the bottom of his feet. The bottom of one was white with black spots.

“What’s wrong with your foot?” I nearly gasped, because it looked sickening.

“Nothing, just swollen. I took another water pill. The swelling will go down.”

“R__, this has nothing to do with edema. Look at the bottom of your left foot.” I wanted to shake him to get him to act.

He sat up and looked at the bottom of his foot. “Guess something is wrong. I’ll go to the doctor Monday.”

“You need to go to the ER - now!”

“I said I’d go to the doctor Monday, so leave me alone.” He lay back down.

I took a deep breath before suggesting he at least soak his foot. When he agreed, I filled the footbath with warm water and mild soap before carrying it to him. He soaked both feet for fifteen to twenty minutes. When he patted the bottom of his left foot, the layer of white skin came lose. A fine wire also came out. The foot still looked bad, oozing puss and a little blood.

“Let me take you to the emergency room,” I begged, but he refused, angrily and forcefully.

We went to our son’s, and our daughter-in-law noted how oddly he acted. She told me that he had even said something derogatory about our son in front of one of our grandsons a couple of weeks before - behavior completely out of character for a man so proud of his son and caring of his grandsons. I was even more concerned by the time we returned home, but he refused to take action.